My brother is a meth addict. Or a recovering-meth-addict-wanna-be. I've blogged about him here in the past, ( 4/16/07, 2/28/06 and on 2/9/06), and it looks like he is going back underground again. Dang!!!!
His name is Jeff, and he is 36 years old. Last time I blogged about him, he was in a court-ordered treatment program after being released from prison. He actually did great in treatment at first. He always does well at first, when there is heavy structure, and someone else makes all of his choices for him. Once he begins to 'earn' freedom with his good behavior, that's when he starts to fall apart. He celebrated his graduation from the treatment program by going to celebrate at a local bar and getting drunk. After all, he figures, meth is his drug of choice, and he was not doing meth, he was 'only drinking'. Grrrrrr.
That was last April. He's been drifting since then, and was homeless for most of this past summer and fall. Then, once more, for the 9th year in a row, found himself homeless over the winter. Minnesota had a very hard winter this year, and he suffered from frostbite several times. Sleeping in the woods isn't even safe when it's below zero. Sometimes he would sleep at a 'friends' house, or in a doorway or business stairwell. At Christmas, I was able to find him and had him come to our family Christmas celebration. It's the first Christmas in many years I can remember him being a part of. I gave him a large box of gloves, facemasks, hats, thermal underlayers, a coat, sweatshirt, boots, wool socks, paper, a pocket bible, pencils, pocket-sized food items, phone-calling cards..... Then he slipped away again, and I lost contact until a few months ago, in late February, he was placed in something called Adult Foster Care in the city he lives in, about an hour away from me. Apparently it is much cheaper for the state to place someone like him there, than it is to house them in jails or prison. Seemed to be a fairly good situation for him, given the alternative. He was happy to be out of the cold, to have a warm roof over his head, a bed to sleep in every night, an address, running water, a place to bathe, food provided each day, a Home Base basically. They even gave him a key to the house and he felt so good that someone trusted him with that. Of course, in exchange, there were rules to be followed. He had to agree to be evaluated and to take his medications on time and regularly. In order to be certain this happened, his meds would be administered to him. He had to agree to take random Urinary Analysis tests. He had to agree to look for work, and to be at meals at certain times, do his part in keeping his area clean in the house. He had to be home or check in via phone by certain times each night. The people who run this home are trained in social work, and would set up the necessary appointments he would need for mental, dental, and physical health, and provide the transportation to it. He just needed to agree to go and not miss the appointments. Things started out well...
Fast forward to Mother's Day, a few weeks ago. My family and I picked him up on the way to visit my mom in a nursing home. As he approached the car, I could see he was gaunt, scruffy looking, limping, and had open sores on his face. I knew. I just knew. I asked him about his sores, and he told me he was suffering from anxiety. No doubt.
The visit with our mom went well though, and we dropped him back off at the foster care home in time for dinner.
Today, I called his foster home again on my way to see my mom, to see if he'd like to come with me. The woman who runs the home said he hasn't been there for almost a week, and has not taken his medication. She said for the last several weeks he's had new clothes on a regular basis. Name brand items. He does not work or have any legal source of income. He's had a change in attitude, humility is gone. Almost strutting. Shady people have been coming to her door looking for him. I needed confirmation, so I asked her if she suspected he was using meth. She confirmed that was what her conclusion was as well. Apparently he told her that he has been with ME for the last week and to not worry because I WAS TAKING CARE OF HIM. Not so, I've been out of town at a wedding. He promised her he would be there at 4:00 today to talk with her, and redeem himself and review the 'rules' of living there. He didn't show. I am not surprised. Now it's getting nicer outside, and being homeless won't seem so bad. He's gone again. Meth is such a cruel drug....... Wonder how long till the next jail or prison stint, or hospital call...
Comments (3)
Hi Robyn,
Thanks for the link and the kind words. You're a great writer. Enjoyed reading this very much!
Joel
wow robyn, that is soooo hard. What else can you do but pray for him? He is making his own bed, so to speak and you have to let him lie in it. Does he ever tell you the reasons? Obviously, meth is so incredibly addictive--best never to try it even once--like crack--but why did he go down path of drugs in first palce? Regardless, there is only so much you can do and I can just hear Dr. Laura saying you need to maintain your life and let him do what he chooses to do. It sounds like you aren't enabling him but letting him know he is loved and you will be there for him when comes around.
Joel, glad you enjoyed reading, thank you =) Wish I could say it is fiction, but it isn't...
Michael, yes, prayer is about all I can do, and keep letting him know I am here and reaching out to him. His addictions and bouts with mental illnesses have been going on since he was 12 or possibly younger, and he is really embedded in the grips of it. Meth is just bad news. He 'graduated' from crack to meth several years ago. When he can't get meth, he will even 'settle' for heroin. Bad, bad news. I let him know I'm here, that I love him, believe in him, and want him to feel good about life, but at the same time, have learned that I need to set boundaries for myself so I don't get sucked in too far. Plus, he has some pretty scary people he deals with, ones that I don't think would feel too bad about harming his family to make him pay his drug debts. I could never let him stay with me, not till recovery was concrete. Thanks for your thoughts and comments =)