Today I am sad. The company I work for is going out of business...and its breaking my heart.
I am the general manager for a retail contemporary furniture store. I
started there while I was in college getting my interior design degree.
I was a part-time brat with a huge chip on my shoulder and an attitude
that somehow I had rights and the world owed me something. Like, if
they would just listen to my ideas, the company would be wonderful. As
if I was the only one who ever thought of the things that I suggested.
I was young and full of myself. I had it all figured out.
Somehow, they put up with me, and saw thru the brassy exterior, and
apparently saw potenital. I was promoted to supervisor, then assistant
manager, and finally, got to open a brand new store and manage it.
During that time, I had my first child, and then became pregnant with
my second. I learned alot of lifes valueable lessons during that time.
I grew up. I realized in the work world, everyone is replaceable, and you
have to give to get. And that giving and not getting is OK too. I
learned hard work feels good. I learned that companies do things in the
companies best interest, that is what they are there for, but I can do
much to bridge the gap between a companies best interest, and
compassion for my staff. I decided that work feels better when you
choose to love your job, even if no one is recognizing your efforts.
Despite sincerely loving my job, I was struggling to find the balance
between work and motherhood. With a second baby on the way...I made the
difficult decision to quit my job and stay home with the kids. I will
never regret that. Our kids are only little once, and I am so thankful
I got to experience them so closely when they were young. I had a third baby, and then I ran a
daycare in my home for almost 10 years. I loved it so much, it was so
much fun, and I don't know of any other job in the world that allows
your heart to be touched on such a regular basis. It was so gratifying
to know that everyday I was making a difference in the life of those
children, and thier families. The parents trusted me with thier
kids..they could go to work and be at peace knowing the woman with
thier kids REALLY loved them, and would look out for them, and teach
them manners, and feed them well, and teach them about life, and let
them have fun and get messy, but teach them too about cleaning
up. But 10 years of cribs and diapers and kid-gear for 12 kids
is a long time. Right when I started to wonder if this is what I
should continue, my 'first-love' job called me back, out of the blue,
this time working in the Corporate Office.
It was a hard decision to leave all the families I had grown so close
to, but that is what I did. And my furniture company welcomed me back,
and entrusted me with a full staff to manage. I loved my job even more
this time. The gave me much responsibility, and trusted that although I
had a lot to learn - my hard work and perserverance would just figure
out how to get the job done, and they knew I would smile in the
process. They also allowed me to be a key figure in bringing our
company up to date with technology. I got to be a major player in
purchasing a new software system for our company, and then figure out
procedures and write manuals for our company. I love this stuff. And
then the ultimate reward to me - they let me coordinate, develop, and
launch our website. I have no training in this, they just trusted me to
get this done. What other company would do this?
But, sales have been down.....Our mall was under construction....Ikea
came to town.... many factors have led to the owners decision that
after much anguish, he decided to close the doors. We announced the
first week in January that in 3 1/2 weeks, we would close the doors at
our largest store, and need to relocate our Corporate Office to our
second store, and we will be out of that one, and done forever by
mid-March/April. It was a very difficult announcement. He is a
compassionate man, and did not want to burden the lifes of his
employees.
I love this company, and today we closed the doors to customers forever
in our main store. On the way home, I cried and cried. I know I will
still be working till we are done... I want this company to go out with
dignity. I want to be the one to lock the doors and sweep the floors on
that last day, and put it all away right. I know that when God
closes one door, he opens another one. But I am still sad. I'm gonna
let myself be sad about this, and let myself cry...something I rarely
allow myself to do. We were in business for 29 years, and were an
instituion in our cities small business. It just doesn't seem like the
world should keep spinning, but it will, and tomorrow will be
better.....
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